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The Long Conversion of Oscar WildeANDREW MCCRACKENOscar Wilde is widely celebrated as an artist persecuted for his homosexuality, a sort of protomartyr for the cause of gay rights. The current celebration of Wilde as gay martyr is certainly one legitimate interpretation of his life, but it oversimplifies his complexity; indeed, it ignores the major movement of his life, a life that may also be seen as a long and difficult conversion to the Roman Catholic Church."I am
not a Catholic," said Oscar Wilde. "I am simply a violent Papist." This statement,
like so many of Wilde's outrageous paradoxes, conceals a sober truth beneath its
blithe wit. Another example would be his jest that, of all religions, Catholicism
is the only one worth dying in. Looking back over his life more than a hundred
years later, we can be forgiven for seeing the irony in such statements, for Wilde's
fascination with Catholicism, its mysteries and rituals, did set the stage for
his death-bed conversion. And we can certainly perceive justice in the fact that
the man who cracked such jokes also believed that life imitated art: ultimately,
then, the joke was on him. Wilde's name is much in the air these days. There
are stage plays about his life, a recent feature film starring Stephen Fry and
Jude Law, and articles in the national press. The centenary of his premature death
in 1900 at age 46 was widely celebrated in the literary and gay communities with
moving testimonies to Oscar Wilde, the persecuted genius and gay man, victim of
a repressive and judgmental social order. Many of these recent works do tell
part of Wilde's story well. He was homosexual, promiscuously so, and his downfall
was precipitated by his passion for a younger man. It was this young man, Lord
Alfred Douglas, who in one of his poems called their desire "the love that dare
not speak its name." The tale of their romance has classic, even operatic, features
— objections by the beloved's family, separation and exile, brief reunion
before the lover's death. The heart left unmoved by their story would be hard
indeed. Yet this sad accounting fails to give us the whole of Oscar Wilde.
He was prosecuted for "acts of gross indecency with other male persons, " found
guilty, and sentenced to two years in prison at hard labor. But his reading during
his imprisonment included works by St. Augustine, Dante, and Newman. When he emerged
from prison, injured and in poor health, he fled across the channel to France
to reunite with his lover. But his first act on his release had been to write
to the Jesuits begging to make a six-month retreat at one of their London houses.
Wilde is celebrated as the center of a circle of unconventional poets and artists
known as decadents and aesthetes. But looking a little past these labels we find
that many of these men became sincere converts to Catholicism — Wilde being
among the last of them, and entering the Church only in his final moments of life.
So the current celebration of Wilde as gay martyr dilutes his complexity and
ignores the major movement of his life, a life that may more accurately be seen
as a long and difficult conversion. But why this long conversion, and in what
larger context? 
Catholicism
had held Wilde's interest all his adult life. Born in Dublin in 1854 to a Protestant
Anglo-Irish family, Wilde came at age 20 to Oxford University in England, where
he was taught by the critic and novelist Walter Pater. Under Pater's influence
Wilde became fascinated — aesthetically, at least — by the mystery of
Catholic ritual, and took to attending Mass regularly. One of Wilde's friends
was David Hunter-Blair, a recent convert, who paid Wilde's way on a sojourn in
Rome that included an audience with Pope Pius IX. Hunter-Blair had hopes of converting
Wilde, but Wilde was apparently moved only to a kind of romantic excitement at
this close brush with the dangerous Catholic Church. Dangerous? Roman Catholicism
was to poetic souls a sort of aesthetic temptation, while to many proper Englishmen
the Roman Church was still the Whore of Babylon, the Anti-Christ. (It is well
to remember that it had been less than fifty years since the Emancipation Bill
that allowed Roman Catholics to hold public office in England, only thirty years
since the defection to Rome of John Henry Newman and other prominent Anglicans,
and just a few years since the First Vatican Council under Pius IX had debated
and defined the dogma of papal infallibility — a dogma that must have seemed
to many an outbreak of medievalism at the very birth of the Age of Darwin.) Hunter-Blair's
evangelizing efforts had no immediate effect, and the two men parted, Hunter-Blair
taking Holy Orders and Wilde turning to the literary world of London. Wilde was
forthright about his motives: "To go over to Rome would be to sacrifice and give
up my two great Gods: Money and Ambition." His entrance into London society was
spectacular: his dandified dress, pronouncements on fashion, and opinions on art
were exquisite and sensational. He published poems and stories and made a lecture
tour of America in 1882. (The story goes that when asked by a U.S. customs agent
if he had anything to declare, Wilde replied, "Only my genius"). In the 1880s
he married, fathered two sons in two years, and published several books of stories
for children (truly moving fairy tales of sacrifice and death and life beyond
the grave that are well worth reading today). But the 1890s were to see Wilde's
great rise and sudden fall. His novel of 1891, The Picture of Dorian
Gray, was a tremendous success. The "hysterical" reaction of the critics,
as one modern editor calls it, only served to intensify the sensation and the
sales. A typical review condemned it as "a poisonous book" full of "moral and
spiritual putrefaction," which "constantly hints, not obscurely, at disgusting
sins and abominable crimes." The device at the book's center sounds as if it might
be simply a bit of cleverness. A beautiful young man exclaims to a painter: "I
am jealous of the portrait you have painted of me. Why should it keep what I must
lose?... Oh, if it were only the other way! If the picture could change, and I
could be always what I am now!" Of course, the wish comes true. But what makes
the fable frightening, what makes it more than a neat trick, is Wilde's careful
portrayal of a sensitive man numbing himself to all feeling for others, of an
ego turning monstrous, of a soul choosing evil. In Dorian Gray, Wilde
is still a wit and an aphorist, but in the service of a profound theme, a theme
that lies at the heart of Catholicism: the ruin of the soul brought about by sin.
There are hints in the novel at elements we now see as autobiographical. The
young man, Dorian Gray, frequents opium dens and has furtive relationships
that are clearly homosexual, all the while maintaining his mask of youthful purity.
There is a young woman, driven to suicide by Dorian's betrayal of her — we
can't help but wonder whether she represents Wilde's wife, Constance, raising
two children and managing the house while her husband lived out his hidden life.
Dorian even attends Mass, drawn (as Wilde was) by the "eternal pathos of human
tragedy" represented in the sacred rite. But all the while, up in a locked room
of his home, behind a curtain that Dorian now and again pulls aside in fascinated
horror, the face in the portrait grows more malevolent. Dorian realizes that "it
had been like conscience to him. Yes, it had been conscience. He would destroy
it." But when Dorian takes up a knife to stab the picture, he himself dies. Another
work of what a modern critic calls "morbid intensity" is Wilde's play Salome,
a treatment of the story of John the Baptist's death. This, too, was a sensation,
without even getting onto an English stage. In 1892 it was denied a license for
production in London on the grounds that it portrayed biblical characters, a thing
forbidden by law. The play (written in French by Wilde) was published in France
in 1893 and in an English translation in England in 1894 — with illustrations
by Aubrey Beardsley, the pre-eminent artist of the English Decadence. The princess
Salome is a virgin tormented by lust for the prophet Jokanaan, whose
unassailable chastity acts on her as a powerful aphrodisiac. Salome dances
for the lustful Herod, her mother's husband, and asks as her prize the head of
Jokanaan. As she kisses the lips of the prophet's severed head, even Herod realizes
that "she is monstrous... she is altogether monstrous," and orders his soldiers
to kill her. Wilde's partnership with Beardsley on Salome is notable,
for the young artist was a match for Wilde in both prodigious talent and scandalous
reputation. Beardsley's illustrations for the play are replete with phallic imagery
and sneering hermaphroditic figures. Even more so than Wilde, Bearsley wanted
to shock: he once famously remarked that "Nero set Christians on fire, like large
tallow candles; the only light that Christians have ever been known to give."
Yet Beardsley, soon diagnosed with tuberculosis and condemned to a slow, lingering
death, became a Catholic in 1896. Another of Wilde's Oxford acquaintances who
also converted to Catholicism, the poet Lionel Johnson, had this to say of Beardsley's
religious experience: "His conversion was a spiritual work, and not a half-insincere
aesthetic act of it.... He withdrew himself from certain valued intimacies, which
he felt incompatible with his faith: that implies much, in these days when artists
largely claim exemption — in the name of art — from laws and rules of
life." In Beardsley's last letter to his family, which opens with the words "Jesus
is our Lord and Judge," he asked that his drawings be destroyed. Beardsley died
in 1898, at age 25. As for Dorian Gray and its connection to Wilde's
eventual conversion, the novel sits at the intersection of several fictional and
actual spiritual paths. The fictional Dorian is partly coaxed into his amoral
aestheticism and self-regard by reading a "poison book," a yellow-backed novel
written by a Frenchman. The book he had in mind, Wilde later affirmed, was a novel
of the French Decadence published in 1884 entitled A Rebours (in English,
"Against the Grain" or "Against Nature"). A Rebours chronicles the life
of a fictional aristocrat who gives himself over to the most perverse pleasures
he can dream of. A Rebours was a daringly new sort of fiction and worked
powerfully on Wilde's literary imagination. He wrote, "the heavy odor of incense
seemed to cling about its pages and to trouble the brain." The fictional hero
of A Rebours , as Wilde well knew, ends contemptuous of everything and
unable to have faith in anything except — perhaps — "the terrible God
of Genesis and the pale martyr of Golgotha...." The novel ends with his prayer,
"Lord, take pity on the Christian who doubts, on the unbeliever who would fain
believe...." Seven years after A Rebours was published, its author,
J.-K. Huysmans, sought out a priest. In 1892 he returned to the Church and in
1900 became an oblate at a Benedictine monastery. His last three works were religious
novels with Catholic settings. As for the sincerity of his religious faith, a
modern editor of his work attests that he "put the doctrine into effect... in
six months of atrocious agony, heroically borne, that preceded his death from
cancer." 
So
in many respects we see that Wilde was thinking like a Catholic about sin and
conscience, and even (judging by his fairy tales for children) about love and
redemption. And we see too that many of Wilde's acquaintances and peers had converted
to Catholicism: the list would eventually include Robbie Ross, a young Canadian
who claimed that Wilde had introduced him to homosexuality, and who was later
to play the role of loyal friend in Wilde's darkest moments. But at this point
Wilde's personal life was caught up in its "morbid intensity," far too much an
imitation of his art. Just as Dorian Gray was being published, Wilde
met a young man who was to excite in him the greatest passion of his life, one
that would speed him down the path to ruin and disgrace. Lord Alfred Douglas was
a beautiful youth, an Oxford poet, the son of Sir John Sholto Douglas, the Eighth
Marquess of Queensberry (the same Marquess who in 1867 had established the modern
rules of boxing). Like Dorian, Alfred let his beauty and good name mask a secret
life that Wilde only too willingly shared. Together they explored the unseen side
of Victorian London — the haunts of male prostitutes, blackmailers, and opium
addicts. As time passed, they allowed themselves more and more public displays
of outrageous behavior. The sportsman father of the handsome son spoke out
against them and badgered them, on one occasion even bursting into Wilde's home.
Early in 1895 he left a calling card at a London club addressed to "Oscar Wilde
posing as a somdomite [sic]." Whatever his prowess in the boxing ring, the athletic
Marquess was clearly no match for Wilde in a war of words, so Wilde (against good
advice) decided to bring an action for libel against him. Wilde had at the time
two hit plays running in London. He had everything to lose — and he lost
it. Why, then, did he take the Marquess to court? Perhaps his fatal flaw lay in
desiring attention for himself, no matter what the venue. Perhaps he was so confident
in his ability to give a very public verbal thrashing to a philistine like the
Marquess that he couldn't resist. Or perhaps he was remembering the celebrated
libel trial of 1878 between his friend, the painter James McNeill Whistler, and
the art critic John Ruskin. That trial had been a sensation, pitting as it did
the the champion of new art against the voice of the English art establishment.
Whatever the reason behind it, the trial of the Marquess for libel lasted only
two days, for on the third day Wilde's counsel, realizing that the defendant had
abundant evidence of the fact of Wilde's sodomy, withdrew the action. That very
afternoon the Crown issued a warrant for Wilde's arrest on charges of gross indecency.
His first trial ended when the jury returned an undecided vote. Wilde was released
on bail but refused to follow his friends' advice to flee to France (Lord Alfred
had already fled). A new trial was begun, and on May 25, 1895, Oscar Wilde was
found guilty of sodomy. In September of the same year he appeared again in court
and was declared bankrupt. A single episode from this time illustrates how broken-hearted
he was: as he emerged from his bankruptcy trial, Wilde was exposed to the insults
of a sizable crowd. In the midst of this mayhem, Wilde's young Catholic friend,
Robbie Ross, stepped out of the crowd and with deliberate politeness tipped his
hat to the fallen man. Wilde was deeply moved by this one small gesture of sympathy:
"Men have gone to heaven for less." 
Oscar
Wilde, convicted of sodomy, was sentenced under the Criminal Law Amendment Act
of 1885 to serve two years of hard labor at Reading Gaol, and his time in prison
brought Wilde once again face to face with the Catholic themes of sin and suffering.
Now they were purged of any tinge of romanticism and exoticism — they were
facts of daily life. Wilde's sensitive nature was tortured by the cruelties he
witnessed in prison: the anonymous shame of the inmates, the frightened faces
of children torn from their parents, the execution of a young soldier convicted
of murder. He spent his free time reading and writing. The writing was to result
in two works quite different from what he had done before: The Ballad of Reading
Gaol and De Profundis. Wilde's need to find meaning in the midst
of suffering was acute. Perhaps it was from reading Augustine or Dante or Newman
in his cell that he began to write in a new voice and on a new theme. Was Wilde
ready for conversion at this point? On his release from jail in May of 1897 his
request to the Jesuits of Farm Street for a six-month retreat was refused. Wilde
wept at the news. No doubt the Jesuit Fathers had reservations about accepting
a man of Wilde's notoriety, but we can't help but wonder what effect six months
of traditional Ignatian spirituality would have had on this sensitive man. Whatever
might have happened at Farm Street did not happen, and Wilde's conversion was
again postponed. He left for France, where for a time he was reunited with Lord
Alfred, until lack of money and threats from both their families (the Marquess
threatening Alfred with exclusion from his will, Constance Wilde threatening Oscar
with exclusion from his two sons) separated them once and for all. The year
1898 saw the publication of The Ballad of Reading Gaol. Wilde's imprisonment
and his alienation from friends and society are clearly at the root of this poem,
but while the author's experiences were bitter, the poem is not. Gone are the
arch aphorisms and mocking paradoxes of his earlier work; gone is the hopeless
sense of sin that finds no redemption. The Ballad tells of the execution that
Wilde witnessed at Reading Gaol, and conveys the inhuman isolation that the condemned
man felt as he awaited his death. Here Wilde's latent Catholic sentiments reveal
themselves unequivocally. The poem condemns the petty censoriousness and miserly
justice of this world, but not from the pose of anti-bourgeois snobbery that might
be expected of an artist, nor in a fit of vindictiveness over society's harsh
treatment of the author. Rather, he returns to a tone that he used to good effect
in his fairy tales for children, one of compassion: Ah! Happy they
whose hearts can break And peace of pardon win! How else may man make straight
his plan And cleanse his soul from Sin? How else but through a broken heart May
Lord Christ enter in?" In 1899 Wilde traveled in Europe, an exile.
In 1900 he was briefly in Rome with his companion Robbie Ross. They attended Masses
and papal audiences, and Wilde received a blessing from Leo XIII that, he thought,
even had a physically curative effect on him. As he joked to Ross, he was "a violent
Papist," but he left Rome as he had come, still an admirer of sacred art and sacred
ritual, of piety and the papacy, but not yet a Catholic. His health deteriorating
and his drinking excessive, Wilde left Rome for Paris, where the final scene of
his long conversion would be played. On November 28,1900, as Wilde lay dying
on his bed in Paris, Robbie Ross called in a priest, an English Passionist, Father
Dunne. Wilde was given conditional Baptism and was anointed. For a short time
he emerged from delirium into lucidity, and Father Dunne, examining him, was satisfied
that Wilde freely desired reception into the Church. Wilde died a Catholic on
November 30. The poet's great antagonist, the Marquis of Queensberry, died
in the same year. On his deathbed he too was received into the Catholic Church.
And the object of the poet's self-destructive passion, Lord Alfred Douglas, became
a Catholic in 1911 and remained firm in the Faith until his death, though his
later writings betray a conservatism that is distasteful and uncharitable. Does
life, then, imitate art? There is a satisfying symmetry to the story of Wilde's
celebrity, his arrogance, his fall, and his humble acceptance of redemption, but
we should resist the temptation to turn his life into a moral allegory. There
is but a little room here for Catholic triumphalism, just as there is but a little
room for an interpretation of Wilde's life that canonizes him as a gay saint.
Unfortunately, most recent treatments of Wilde's life reduce him to the latter
category: Stephen Fry's recent movie makes but one mention of Catholicism (and
that entirely unconnected to Wilde himself). But if we can't simplify Oscar Wilde
for our own convenience we are left asking — what was he then? All of
these: writer, wit, voluptuary, gay man, failed father and husband, sensitive
soul, laughing stock, broken heart, eleventh hour Catholic convert. 
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT McCracken,
Andrew. "The Long Conversion of Oscar Wilde." (April 2003). Reprinted with
permission of the author, Andrew McCracken. THE AUTHOR
Andrew McCracken is head of the Library Department and teaches Church history
at Notre Dame Regional Secondary School in Vancouver British Columbia. Andrew
McCracken was on the Executive Board of the Catholic Education Resource Center until 2006.
Copyright © 2003 Andrew McCracken
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